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Monday, June 11, 2012

Josh Weed is coming out, and his wife is just fine with it

Therapist Josh Weed (above, left) is having a coming out party and the Mrs is just fine with it. In fact, she offers her thoughts on the matter part way down the blog post and she's apparently known for years, before they were married in fact, that her hubby is gay. I found the following exchange between Weed and a psychologist to be particularly interesting...

"About two years ago, I saw a psychologist to get medication for my ADHD-I. She was a lesbian, and when I told her that I was a gay man in a heterosexual marriage, she spent an entire session hammering me with questions about my situation in a genuine effort to make sure I was happy. I didn’t love that she did this, but as a clinician myself, I understood where she was coming from.

During our conversation, she told me about her life with her partner. She spoke of a girl, whom she considered her daughter, who is the biological child of her ex-lover, with whom she lived for only three years. She told me of how much she loved her daughter, but how infrequently she got to see her. And eventually, when talking about my sex life, she said “well, that’s good you enjoy sex with your wife, but I think it’s sad that you have to settle for something that is counterfeit.”

I was a little taken aback by this idea—I don’t consider my sex-life to be counterfeit. In response, I jokingly said “and I’m sorry that you have to settle for a counterfeit family.” She immediately saw my point and apologized for that comment. Obviously, I don’t actually think a family with non-biological members is counterfeit in any way. I also don’t feel that my sex-life is counterfeit. They are both examples of something that is different than the ideal. I made that joke to illustrate a point. If you are gay, you will have to choose to fill in the gaps somewhere. She chose to have a family in a way that is different than the ideal. I choose to enjoy sex in a way that is different than the ideal for a gay man. It all comes down to what you choose and why, and knowing what you want for yourself and why you want it. That’s basically what life is all about."

Weed's story is an interesting one and the entire blog post is well worth the time. What Weed is doing here is basically telling the world that although he has certain attractions and impulses, he need not necessarily act upon them. I think we can all agree that there are sexual impulses in which it is much better if they are not acted upon. I happen to be heterosexual, and yet I couldn't possibly imagine how explaining that my mental hardwiring is so would prevent my wife from becoming jealous if I started flirting with another woman. It would only make make our relationship worse.

I can appreciate that perhaps Weed has a bit of an advantage over others who are same-sex attraced in that he was well grounded from a young age as to what God's plan for optimal family conditions is and he decided to follow that blueprint. I hope Mr Weed's testimony can serve as an inspiration to others who find themselves struggling with such desires and can offer them an alternative concerning their potential family life over what is commonly just accepted and considered immutable and inevitable and they can more greatly enjoy God's plan for their life.


Lisa said...

I have one concern about Josh coming out of the closet with this Unicorn Club as he states clearly and he writes clearly in #8 that their is no incorrect path for gay religious to live out their lives, although Josh choose to marry. According to God their is only one straight narrow path if you know what I mean. The Weed's will be harming many gay and homosexuals if they don't understand that clearly sex was meant only in marriage with a man and woman. Outside of marriage sex is very destructive, including fortification, polygamy etc... I praise God Josh has controlled his same sex attraction feelings but telling others their is no incorrect path for gay religious to live, is going to harm his family and the world. May God bless Josh and his wife to guide others to the one and only narrow path paved by God.

Ross said...

If his wife wants to remarry, I'm available :)

Ross said...

I decided to reread this blog and the article in full. My earlier comment was meant as a joke but it seems to me to be insensitive now.

Josh writes that God wants us to be happy., and that God doesn't judge. I don't quite agree with that. My understanding is that God wants us to be holy. God is a God of love, but He is also a God of justice. Where would any of us be without His grace and mercy?

Rivka said...

Lisa, that's not actually what he said. He said he wouldn't judge anyone's path. That basically just means he'll be nice to anyone.